Living Your Life Alone Is Not Easy — Once You Learn To Love Yourself And Focus On You, It’s Stress-Free And Special

Does that sound crazy or sane to you? After all, who wants to be alone for the rest of their life?

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m out a lot; I work, play, and train in nature and meet plenty of people along the way. But at the end of the day, I’m always happiest when I return home and can be “me, myself, and I.”

Do I sound selfish or self-absorbed? Actually, I’m neither. The opposite is the case. I’m a caring, kind, and giving person.

My life mission is to help others find a better life, just like I did when I embarked on my new lifestyle over 7 years ago.

I had spent 18 years in a good marriage and raised 2 beautiful kids. Unfortunately, as these things do, the marriage went sour, and I found myself on my own.

The problem I had back then was that I hated being alone. I was always with my kids, ex-wife, friends, and family. But the force of nature and that thing called “life” spun me around and upside down.

So I had to start over — against my will and all alone.

When one door closes, others open, they say. That is true, yet you must make a concerted effort to look and find those hidden doors.

They are there and ready for you, but if you don’t look and wake up to reality, you’ll miss every opportunity to do better.

I was facing doom and gloom after my divorce, living in a place I disliked, with no real friends and nothing to do.

My working skills at the time were of no value where I used to live — a quiet and boring little town in Up-State New York.

I was used to better — the big world. Glitz and Glamour!

Before I agreed to move my family to the USA, I lived in London, Saint Tropez, and New York City. And I used to live it up too!

I calmed myself and became content with much less, and embraced the minimalist lifestyle

Once I understood I had to take serious action to get back on track, create a new life, and find a purpose again, I did it quickly.

I completely changed my direction in life and became a life coach (for myself at first), nutritionist, and writer.

When I saw how I turned myself from miserable, out of shape, and depressed to feeling, looking great, and thinking positively again, I found the courage to offer my services to others.

That was when I realized the saying, “everything happens for a reason,” is true.

And as my good friend and colleague, Dr. Mehmet Yildiz, always says:

“We all have the capacity to take a negative and turn it into a positive, with a clear and focused mindset.”

Regardless of how well you might be doing at any given time, unexpected setbacks happen again and again. That’s life! How you respond and deal with them is the only thing that matters.

Relationships

I’ve had a few relationships lasting a few months each. In the beginning, as always, they’re fun, exciting, and feel promising.

However, it takes time to see someone’s true colors. I always moved too quickly, as I trust people easily.

I had the misfortune of ending up with a couple of women who appeared great on the surface. But after the 1-month “honeymoon and euphoria” period ended, the problems began, and they turned out to be bipolar.

Bipolar is a terrible condition. Most don’t know or will not admit to having it, so they refuse to seek therapy, support, or medication.

Definition:

“Bipolar disorder, formerly called manic depression, is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression).” Mayoclinic.org

“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink!”

Unfortunately, that saying is also accurate.

You may think it’s me and that I’m difficult and have high expectations. You may be right. I’m certainly not a simple person or necessarily easy to understand.

That, I am sure, is part of the problem. I expect a lot from myself, so I guess, unknowingly, I may expect the same from others who can’t keep up with my thinking and speed.

I go forward with optimism and a powerful growth mindset

I enjoy sharing my personal feelings, life stories, and lessons with you because I know I’m not alone.

It’s OK to be alone and focus you, your health, life, and happiness.

I do not isolate myself and will continue living with an open mind and positive mindset. I have I want to achieve in the next half of my life.

I’m happy to push on alone. If I meet someone special, that would be great. If not, I’m OK with that too.

Final Thoughts

I have a handful of uniquely special, caring, and loving people in my life. I don’t see them in person much — in fact — it’s been over a decade with some and others I’ve not met in person…yet… but I will.

However, I’m always in touch with the these great folks, and I’m grateful to have them in my life. If you read this, you will know who I’m talking about.

At the end of the day, being alone and free is great. But, you are never really alone.

Remember that.

Rob

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Chosen Stories from Rob Hourmont’s Health Collection on Medium